What Men Really Want
September 6th 2008 21:23
Category: What's Really Normal
Ahhh Cosmo - now and then in your pages there's something worth reading, around all the glamour ads and how to be sexy guff.
This month (October 08 issue) there's the results of an online survey of over 500 men, asking them what they think of women. Why is this important? Because women diet and cut and exercise and stress their bodies into disordered eating and ill health, in the name of being attractive, presumably for guys (though there's other research... another time)!
Cosmo's results are repeating what the men I know also say. Most of them, anyway.
Mostly what it says is summed up by a comment in Ariel Levy's excellent book Female Chauvinist Pigs, made by a boy whose name I can't remember and I'm not going to look up the reference now. Ariel asked him what he thought about girls constantly dieting, and he said that he and most of the guys he knew didn't see the awful stuff about their bodies that the girls saw, and they just wanted to be with the girls. Not "get with", *be* with. In other words, men like being around women who like themselves.
And Cosmo's survey results echo this:
Cellulite and Stretch marks: 85% of men say they don't notice them and don't care if their partner has them. Only 15% said it was a turn-off for them. I'd be asking that 15% what they'd want their woman to do about something that happens naturally to almost all women.
A flat stomach or a good sense of humour: 87% prefer a good sense of humour. As one 23 year old guy says, a flat stomach doesn't last very long, a sense of humour is for life.
Regarding which size is most attractive: 10% like size 6-8, 81% like size 10 - 12, 11% like size 14 . That sounds a lot like the natural distribution of sizes amongst the population to me. Message: only a small percentage of guys like really thin girls, and from the comments it seems they know the difference between naturally really thin and beating-body-into-submission thin. More guys like bigger girls (ie 14 ) than like really thin girls.
What does a man think when a woman orders dessert: 78% think: she wants dessert. That's all, nothing else. LOL! rock on guys!
15% think thank god she's taking a night off the diet, and just 7% think "she's going to get fat". Probably the same guys who think stretch marks are a turn off.
About women who complain about their body weight: 74% said women who complain about their weight are a bigger turnoff than those who maybe could lose a few kilos but don't let it bother them. 86% said they'd rather have a relationship with a woman who enjoys food, only 14% said they prefer a woman to constantly diet. Same mob as in the cellulite para, above.
They asked the guys to describe the last woman they slept with. 60% thought she looked great, 30% thought her breasts were fantastic, only 10% were unhappy with something (eg her breasts were too small). As regards gravity-challenged breasts, 62% said they loved it, 30% said they never noticed, and just 8% said they didn't like it. That's a full 92% of guys who love the effect of natural gravity on breasts, ladies!
About your weight: 50% of men said you'd have to gain 10-15 kgs (that's 35 pounds) before it turned them off, and 25% of men said it would take a weight gain of 20-30 kilos. One guy (age 21) said he'd never leave a girl just for gaining weight, another (age 28) said he wouldn't care at all if his girlfriend gained weight, and a third (age 26) said it would have to be a large amount for him to notice in the first place!
So why are we all starving ourselves and hating our bodies anyway??
I'm reminded so strongly of Maya Anglou's Phenomenal Woman - go google and read it. It's about the real physical power of a woman, and it's all about attitude to yourself, baby!
This month (October 08 issue) there's the results of an online survey of over 500 men, asking them what they think of women. Why is this important? Because women diet and cut and exercise and stress their bodies into disordered eating and ill health, in the name of being attractive, presumably for guys (though there's other research... another time)!
Cosmo's results are repeating what the men I know also say. Most of them, anyway.
Mostly what it says is summed up by a comment in Ariel Levy's excellent book Female Chauvinist Pigs, made by a boy whose name I can't remember and I'm not going to look up the reference now. Ariel asked him what he thought about girls constantly dieting, and he said that he and most of the guys he knew didn't see the awful stuff about their bodies that the girls saw, and they just wanted to be with the girls. Not "get with", *be* with. In other words, men like being around women who like themselves.
And Cosmo's survey results echo this:
Cellulite and Stretch marks: 85% of men say they don't notice them and don't care if their partner has them. Only 15% said it was a turn-off for them. I'd be asking that 15% what they'd want their woman to do about something that happens naturally to almost all women.
A flat stomach or a good sense of humour: 87% prefer a good sense of humour. As one 23 year old guy says, a flat stomach doesn't last very long, a sense of humour is for life.
Regarding which size is most attractive: 10% like size 6-8, 81% like size 10 - 12, 11% like size 14 . That sounds a lot like the natural distribution of sizes amongst the population to me. Message: only a small percentage of guys like really thin girls, and from the comments it seems they know the difference between naturally really thin and beating-body-into-submission thin. More guys like bigger girls (ie 14 ) than like really thin girls.
What does a man think when a woman orders dessert: 78% think: she wants dessert. That's all, nothing else. LOL! rock on guys!
15% think thank god she's taking a night off the diet, and just 7% think "she's going to get fat". Probably the same guys who think stretch marks are a turn off.About women who complain about their body weight: 74% said women who complain about their weight are a bigger turnoff than those who maybe could lose a few kilos but don't let it bother them. 86% said they'd rather have a relationship with a woman who enjoys food, only 14% said they prefer a woman to constantly diet. Same mob as in the cellulite para, above.
They asked the guys to describe the last woman they slept with. 60% thought she looked great, 30% thought her breasts were fantastic, only 10% were unhappy with something (eg her breasts were too small). As regards gravity-challenged breasts, 62% said they loved it, 30% said they never noticed, and just 8% said they didn't like it. That's a full 92% of guys who love the effect of natural gravity on breasts, ladies!
About your weight: 50% of men said you'd have to gain 10-15 kgs (that's 35 pounds) before it turned them off, and 25% of men said it would take a weight gain of 20-30 kilos. One guy (age 21) said he'd never leave a girl just for gaining weight, another (age 28) said he wouldn't care at all if his girlfriend gained weight, and a third (age 26) said it would have to be a large amount for him to notice in the first place!
So why are we all starving ourselves and hating our bodies anyway??
I'm reminded so strongly of Maya Anglou's Phenomenal Woman - go google and read it. It's about the real physical power of a woman, and it's all about attitude to yourself, baby!
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Comment by Matt Rossner
But the above article shouts the truth - we men do not care as much about how a woman looks as we do about how she feels about herself.
But is this not obvious, at least to the logical parts of our brain? The problem is people don't deal with fat rolls and stretch marks logically, they register with the primal 'ME WANT THINGS' bits of our brain. 'ME WANT FLAT STOMACH, PERKY BOOBS AND HOT BUTT'
Good luck to Cosmo with their survey on how many men want a woman who has overcome the physical and visual cues that she receives from society about her body and has subsequently reached a higher sense of self-awareness and thus confidence. Perhaps those women don't read Cosmo. They are also unlikely to be 14.